Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What is love?

Lately, I have been coming across people (those aggrieved at relationship) who tell that they don't believe in love or as they say it- 'unhappy experiences have quashed their faith in love like things'. They hate being in relationship and despise love as a bonding. They brand themselves as broadminded and matured by projecting themselves above 'superficial emotions like love'. To such people I suggest an analogy- ''Just because you are agnostic doesn't mean that God doesn't exist". 'Avoid understanding what true love is' was also a choice that life offered you. And you picked the same choice, so if you say that love is sin, I will tell you that you are not qualified enough to evaluate it.


Love is not bound by checklists or promises. True love doesn't even require you to be together. All you need is selfless care, altruistic feelings, ability to perceive other's thoughts, time-tested trust and mutual respect. Its love when you run to help your girlfriend because you care for her and not because you want to impress her and thereafter have sex with her. Its love when you know that even standing miles apart, you feel safe because someone has always been standing as a support for you. Its love when your priority is to see him/her happy and contended and not that you should be happy and contended in his/her company.


Now, pragmatists will argue that your happiness is essential for sustainability of a relationship. They advocate for a blend of both selfishness and sacrifice. For them,I wish to reiterate the definition- "If it makes you happy to see others' happiness, no matter what happens to you, then its Love". So, if you truly love some one, seeing him/her happy will make you happy i.e. in true love you don't aim at your happiness; you earn happiness because you aim at your loved one's happiness. Aiming at your happiness (e.g. people strive to search for fun in the company of their lover) is selfishness and Earning happiness because you aim at your lover's happiness is selflessness (I call it true love relationship).


So, now you know, what true love is. And with whom you can enjoy a strong ephemeral pulse of happiness and with whom you will cherish happiness eternally. And you also know who will stand by your side holding your hand when you are 70 years old and dying. Now, you can decide by yourself.

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