कर्मफल

कागज पे पानी से हमने एक तस्वीर बनायी थी
ओ़स की बूंदों से हमने रंगों को घोला था
चिलमन को सहला कर आई हवाओं ने उन्हें सुखाया था
धूप की किरणों ने रंगों को निखारा था
लेकिन ना जाने हमें यह तस्वीर दिखती नहीं है
तस्वीर में कोई चेहरा हँसता नहीं है
क्या शिकायत करें काग़ज से
शिकवे तो रंग से है जो हमने ही बनाये थे

Jab We Met

I sat on a horizontal iron pole besides the parking area, waiting for the examination center to open. Barring me, everyone arrived with his/her friends or parents. I sat looking upon everyone, guessing actual candidates for exam. It was 2^nd march 2009 and I was in Gurgaon for GRE exam.

 

At 9 a.m., we were called inside and I found out that 3 girls and 4 boys (1 foreigner girl came very late and finally total rose to 8 candidates) in total were sitting in the room where passport verification had to done.

 

One boy sitting besides me asked “pehli baar??”

I turned to him almost asking ‘tu baar baar aata rehta hai kya?’ but in the end replied “hanji.” He looked at me with pity and said almost in a derisive way- “arre tension mat lo, kitna bhi khrab hua na to 200 se kam to nahi aa sakta.” Then he gave me a big smile. I thought- “wah re confidence! GRE exam software never gives your score less than 200, isi cheej se ye khush hai!!.”

 

He again asked “so what is your field of study?”

“Engineering.”

“Where are you studying?”

“Roorkee”

He stared at me agape. “IIT Roorkee??” He cried. I did not like this act of his destroying my anonymity in the room. Everyone looked up to see my face. I also gave a cursory look over everyone.

He again cried-“aapko maths mein to 800 out of 800 aayega”. I smirked but was angry on having mentioning this just before exam thinking –“saale, nazar lagana jaroori tha”(eventually, my anger grew when I got 780 out of 800 after exam).

 

On listening to his words, one girl gave me a long curious look as if asking something. But the girl next to her did not take much of notice. I unknowingly wanted her to see me so that I could see her face. But she did not heed to any of my “tirchhi nazar” :P. She possessed sublime beauty and moreover, ‘her not seeing me’ anyway intrigued me.

 

After signing few forms, we were given keys to put our bags in small drawers corresponding to the keys. Due to reasons unknown, she could not open her drawer and so that verbose guy stood up first to help. Few more people tried but failed. I rose and went to help her (anyways, I wanted to!! :P). The lock opened with gentle twist!!

She gave me an unforgettable smile. She was really pretty and good at etiquettes. “Thank You”- she said.

 

We proceeded for exams. After hard, torturous 3 hours duration of exam, in the end, score came out to be good (except for Maths. That sucker took away my 20 marks in Maths with his malevolence!). After exam, we were asked to assemble in our previous room where a response sheet had to be filled.

I was opening my drawer when she came behind me putting keys into her drawer. I looked on her face. She smiled slightly. Again, I looked into her eyes. She had perfect eyes to look into. Every feature of her face was perfect. I exceeded that ‘optimum time duration for staring at a girl.’ (It has happened to me in life only a few times!). She felt awkward and stopped smiling because of my indecency and took her seat. Now, she was not looking at me. I also tried to avoid looking in her direction (to avoid getting caught staring :P ) while sitting just in front of her.

 

Another girl who gave me curious look before exam, asked taking seat next to me – “kitna aaya?”. I replied –“600 english and 780 maths”. The same guy who was listening our talk looked me with a derisive smile. I did not reply for his indecent smile. I asked the girl “tere kitne aaye?”. She replied in a low tone – “330 english and 390 in maths”. I could speak but mumbled slowly “koi nahi”.

 

Now, I waited for the girl sitting in front of me to at least look at me for one time so that we could smile and then perhaps talk :P. But she did not. I came out of examination and made few phone calls while searching for any ‘eating station’. I strolled towards a juice center and asked for one orange juice. To my utter surprise, she was there drinking same juice J.

Now, she smiled.

I came to her replying back with full smile :P.

“kitna aaya score??’- she asked.

“jyada nahi… 600 english, 780 maths”

“isse jyada kya chahiye?”

“ho sakta tha, khair, ab to score aa chuka. But then, I am happy with this.”- I replied.

“hmm…”

“how much did you get?”- I asked

“490 in English and 780 in maths.” She smiled again.

“wow! That’s also a good enough score to apply.”

“I am also happy about it”.  She smiled yet again and I joined.

 

I looked her. She was dressed in whitish yellow kurti and blue washed jeans. Kurti was embroidered on top near neck and gradually became plain in middle and then finally faded away to yellow background with blue streaks of curved lines. She was wearing shoes and had one thick light yellow bangle on her left wrist. On her cute charming shiny milky face, she had a small piercing in her nose and few slightly curly hairs near her ears swayed with wind. She looked like typical urban girl with slightly traditional get up and somewhat reserved.

 

Then she stood up to pay her bill and asked me “kahan jaana hai?”

“first to Delhi to meet one friend and then to Roorkee”.

She gave no reply.

 

Her cell phone rang and she became busy talking. I had finished juice in my cup and it seemed awkward to wait for a stranger for next 10 mins perhaps (girls are a big talkative on phone you know!).

 

Still I lingered my stay for another 2 minutes but after that, I waved my hand to her seeking good-bye. She held her phone and waved her hands saying good-bye.

I accepted this light-heartedly. May be this acquaintance was destined to halt here, I thought then.

I took a rickshaw from sector 14 to sector 31 where I was staying with my friend Rahul.

Then, I came to IIFCO chowk by auto-rickshaw where I had to board a bus for Dhaula-Kuan. I was waiting for bus when someone called me from behind “Dhalua-Kuan jaana hai?”. I turned back. It was her!!

 

“Dhaula-Kuan jaana hai?”- She asked again.

“Haan’

“har 10 minute ke baad aati hai Dhaula-Kuan ke liye bus”

“tum yahi rehti ho?”

“nahi. Mein Safdarjang mein rehti hoon.”- She replied looking right at an approaching bus. “This is our bus!”- she told almost whispering.

 

We took our seat.

“Delhi mein kahan jaana hai?”- She asked.

“IIT Delhi ke paas.”

“IIT Delhi mein padhta hai tumhara frnd jisse milne jaana hai?”

“Nahi, wo INIFD mein padhti hai. It is somewhere near IIT Delhi.”

“kabhi gaye nahi pehle?”

“Nahi. She had been complaining me that I never come to see her when I come to Delhi. So this time I must go.”

“That pretty bad that you don’t see your friends when you come to their city”- She admonished.

I smiled.

 

Then she took out her magazine (huh!! I hate girls reading magazine before me.)

For ten minutes we sat quietly; I was looking out of window and she read her magazine.

“Can I enjoy pleasure to remember your name?”- I broke this silence.

“What??”- she exclaimed.

“I don’t know your name”- I justified myself.

She was almost to laugh. “Ankita Singh. And you?”- She spoke.

“Jai... Jai Kumar.”

After a small pause, she folded her magazine.

“So where do study?”- she asked.

“IIT Roorkee”

“hmm… studious guy! Right?”

“Naah! Not exactly. Where do you study?”

“St. Stephen college, Delhi. I am completing my B.Sc. in Physics this year.”

“Yes, everyone gives GRE in his/her final year.”

“mmm…That’s correct!” She smiled. “But I am not that serious for MS, I want to enter this field of MBA”.

“Why?”- I asked

“I want to pursue MBA because it is more application based and switching over from Physics to MBA would be some sort of academic adventure”. She smiled.

“hehe. Good one.”- I supported. I was impressed by her venture.

 

Then again sileince crept for 5 minutes.

This time, she broke this silence. – “Where are you actually from?”

“Muzaffarpur, Bihar”- I replied.

She nodded and again started looking towards window.

I asked her few questions about her acads and she replied slowly.

“I think juice has assimilated by now. You feel hungry?”- I asked.

“No, thanks. I ate a lot in morning”- She smiled.

“You mean, you ate heavily during your breakfast!”

“No, I did not eat that much in breakfast”- She laughed.

“Haan… dikh rha hai. Slim Slim!!”. I added.

“Arre… wo maintain karna padta hai”. She laughed.

“aur kya karna hota hai maintain karne ke liye?”- I asked.

“basketball khelna hota hai”- She jumped slightly on her seat.

“to ye baat hai!!”

“haan”. She smiled. “tum kya khelte ho?”

“kabhi aalas se mukti mile to lawn tennis jaun.”- I smiled.

“sahi!!”- she exclaimed.

Our bus had reached Dhaula Kuan and we came down. A new flyover was being built there and road was blocked. So I inquired local people where to catch bus going towards our destination. They told us to walk with lot of people who were going in same direction. They told us that you need to walk half-kilometers on foot to reach nearest bus stop.

 

So we walked. We talked about our eating habits, routine in college and Roorkee. Finally we boarded our bus and after taking seat we continued talking. By conversation, I could perceive that she was modest, bit conventional and cheerful. She remains shy and very reserved to strangers but very slowly opens up with acquainted ones.

 

Then at one point of time, she asked the most asked question (favorite question for any girl) -“Do you have girlfriend?”

“Why do every girl asks this when you start getting known?”- I asked than replying.

“Because, this is our favorite question. We love asking this question to guys”- she replied.

(huh!! pretty easy answer. I thought.)

“No. I don’t have any girlfriend”

“Earlier?”

“No. I never had any girlfriend.”

“So. Sad!”- she said in a teasing tone.

“Naah. I am not sad. Someday, you know, someday I will get my true love”. I said in joking tone.

“when?”

“I am not searching. You know, ‘signs’. They tell you what you want and what you should have.”- I made a heavy statement.

“So, you won’t love anyone by yourself?”- She threw a big question.

“I will love to love someone who loves me.” I paused. “You know, ego, ambition, desires and greed have distorted definition of love as this- ‘When both of you love each other, then it’s love.’ You know, it has distorted to all ‘give and take relationship’.”

This was a really heavy statement. She was taken aback for a while.

 

“Yes, you are true. I have seen few of my friends how materialistically they make their relation and never bother while breaking it.”- She affirmed and continued- “I too don’t believe in such love now. I had crush on one guy who finally came out to be philanderer. I cannot tell you the reason he said me, but it really hurt me. So, I moved on. And this way people lose faith in love.”

“So, you have boyfriend now?”

“Nahh. I did not have any since two years. In fact I don’t talk to guys.”

“But you are talking to me.”- I interrupted as soon as she spoke.

“I don’t know why I am talking to you”- she spoke seeing away from me.

“Same here.” I said in a low voice and she turned to me.

Then there was silence for few minutes. And then she said wincing “I feel appetite for coffee. Can we go to Barista near IIT Delhi gate. But I will pay my part of bill.”

“Ok”- I agreed.

We went to Barista and had one cup of coffee. We sat talking over Physics, my project in nanotechnology and few common cultural superstitions in society.

Finally she got a call from her mom asking where she was. She said she will be there in no time. So, she had to hurry. We paid our bills and started to leave.

“It was nice meeting you”. She said shaking hands.

“My id is- ‘@#$#%’ and my mobile number is ‘^%*$%!’ ” I spoke bluntly. She smiled and took out her notebook and gave me to write my contacts. I wrote and told her that I will get her number or id when she called or sent me mails. Tacitly, I wanted to see weather she really meant what she said. I want to see if she really cares to contact me or not.

 

It has been 29^th of March 2009. Around one month. No replies. No contacts. Today I smile saying- “Nice meeting you too. I don’t know if this meeting will sink to oblivion”. It’s all fate what decides.

 

 

P.S.-

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May be if she reads this blog, she can imagine how much I can remember while reading this description written verbatim.

 

 

The Journey

Journey by its intrinsic virtue, begets a change. Quite a time, changes are meant to rejuvenate a listless bristling life. These journeys have a destination but they generally lack footprints of any previous venture. Running on a wild goose chase, this journey is actually a rummage for peace, happiness or culmination. What is this journey? This part of life is called “Pursuit of Happiness”.

If Christopher believes in incessant pursuit, he will surely succeed. There are reasons to believe this. First, your labour will never let you down in long run. Secondly, a pertinacious determination never gives out. Thirdly, not everyone show true determination; so some succumb to solace while few others dogged in determination resent against hardships. The later ones are the protagonists of ‘the journey’.

Sometimes dimensions are more lucid than directions. To quote, a tramp through a fallow land or walking though a desert or sailing into immeasurable horizons of sea are few paradigms. The slew of possibilities i.e. directions tend to deceive. And every failure against deception delays but makes ‘the traveler’ experienced, callous and matured.

Few sentient travelers turn boorish because milieu demands while few remain humble. There is a saying- “There are two thoughts that decide your attitude. First, ‘what you think of yourself when you don’t have anything’. Second, ‘What you think of others when you have everything’. ‘The Journey’ tests your humane perception and stability of emotions.

In this journey, you cannot expect many of yours. Some stick till you progress while only few remain at a ‘U- turn’. So you get an insight of judging people and trusting limits. Standing forlorn at the end of a gloomy and sullen night, you never know what a day it would come out to be. But you do know one thing- a day can be the advent of heyday. Can is an optimistic word and there is no reason why you cannot be optimistic. There is no secret ingredient; to know something or make something, you need to believe in it.

With all perseverance, optimism, zeal and planning, this journey finds its way to destination. The four pillars erect a masterpiece. Not only you approach near, success too, leaps towards you. There is no short-cut to success; but if your success was shortcut, you always knew, you left something.

Everyone who failed and laments over it; you should better stop nagging. You need a break. You need ‘the journey’. You need to pursue this homework. And then you stand far ahead of others for those who yearn for pearl must dive deep. Lucky ones are hallowed quite a few times but one who is assiduous is blessed for ever. So if you are wistful for success, it’s your time to undertake this journey.

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